Friday 20 May 2011

150 minutes

half of my work before i am allowing myself to go to sleep tonight
was the amount of time i spent with mr x today, talking about love unrequited and the dire state of the human species.

there was a part of me that was secretly petrified because i no longer seemed to feel the burning passion i believe i once felt for neuro-oncology; but this was quelled when i forced myself to reread my elective report.

i find it comforting that i found the sonic hedgehog and wingless pathway intriguing and rather interesting.

i am also currently at peace with the universe from the inside of my little bubble of existence - how can one fail to be happy when one is fully equipped with lime green post its (!!!!), a stash of coloured pens, Träumerei on 8tracks, a cup of hot milo in a blue man group mug, and 'an unquenchable thirst for knowledge'?

how? :)

it's so gratifying when i look at my two post its and pretend that i am an aspiring molecular geneticist with a special interest in oncology. mwahahaha. maybe i should start considering that as a career.

i guess it's also good to know that i have found a person who has perceptions scarily similar to mine, even regarding things that i'd never thought possible (like how she disregards the needs of people around her when her life derails slightly).

i cannot believe my luck.

however - things have been slightly out of hand over the past week or so - the past few days have had me embroiled in a pseudo tug-of-war between the person who might just know me better than i know myself and the person i have come to know and grown close to over the past two years and i find myself treading a very fine line.

i have a very sneaky feeling that everything i do or say will have to be measured extremely meticulously because i am the ticking time bomb in this case, and anything i do and/or say will be used against me in the metaphorical court of law.

i should stop now and get back to my NOTCH and EGFR pathway. nothing like neuro-oncology to take the brain away from all this idle thought - the more i analyse things the more they tend to morph into shadow monsters snapping at my ankles from the abyss i balance myself on a tightrope above.

good night for now people, have a good day! :)